Growing Losers

"If you're [not] losing friends, then you're [not] growing up."

Quotes are lurking on the internet, and if you're not careful they just might catch you. Somehow, this one floated across my vision while I was online a week ago. After reading it my fingers suspended their typing, and my mind went dumb.

So eloquent, so short, and so true. 

Anyone who has left home for a few months knows that returning home can feel weird (and causes internal cataclysms). After living at school for most of the year, I'm struggling with the adjustment. We all know that you can't expect life at home to remain the same as you know it, while you go on all your new adventures. People change. Your brain might already know this, but it doesn't eliminate the small sadness you experience during this process. 

I'm not sure how you read that quote initially, but for me it went through a negative nostalgic filter. I gave a sad chuckle and 'ain't that true' nod to my computer screen. It feels like I keep tripping into the ghosts of friends past when I'm home. 

This summer, I've felt an ache; but not to rekindle faded friendships because that just doesn't feel right. Some friends are meant to last, while others are what you need in the moment.

The real source of this ache is a yearning for some of the irreplaceable gifts that those friendships brought. Yeah, we make lots of new friends as we move on, but their are some 'good times' had with old friends that can't be recreated.

So many people online responded to this quote, all responses akin to my own. Basically, we all realized that with growth comes loss. No one likes losing. (Yes, the whole thing starts turning into 'woe is me.')

But you know what? As great as this quote feels in the moment, it's a glass half-empty quote. 

So let's re-write our perspectives, yes? Loss happens, but it doesn't need to be a burden. Below, are some modifications that this original quote left out:

If you're losing friends then...

1. You've probably (no, definitely) made new ones.
2. You probably live somewhere else, are someone else, or are doing something else.
3. You're likely focusing your time on those core friendships that matter.
4. You're human! (Science shows we can only maintain so many friendships)
5. You are not alone.

At the end of the day, don't be afraid to become a growing loser and allow time to do its work. Just make sure that you don't lose out on the opportunities to sustain deep friendships and find new ones.