What if... "what if" could actually mean something good?
"What if I had never introduced myself to Ron and Betty? What if I had never met Natalie and Clay?..."
We always ask "what if" when something bad happens. But what happens when you ask "what if" to think about all the good that has cascaded through your life?
Tonight I sat in a basement with my fellow Christians and felt comfortable, unforced, and happy to be in that spot while the earth rotated on in its natural journey. I felt natural. For once I belonged to my church and didn't feel like a misfit. For once I felt like everyone around me was just as imperfect, and no one had that rose colored Christian life I tended to project onto most of my church peers in past experience.
My leadership there has already admitted their own past sins and struggles (including stuff like drugs, porn, mental struggles) which honestly has put me at ease. They are open about their struggles, but also how they've changed and how its turned into a testament. What a difference it makes to sit and a room and not feel like the only mess. How easier it is to share and connect.
Sitting on the couch in that room I felt accepted. Each Sunday I walk into my church and actually feel a sense of belonging. I can walk in and shake hands with Mr. Groff or Zach. I can laugh with Clay and Natalie. Sometimes Pastor Jimmy will even stop to talk, and will even notice when some of us can't make it to the services. He takes the time to get to know his church too.
In the past, my church relationships felt forced and I always felt like an outsider, a lonely struggling straggler. But thanks to that one time where I dared to let go of past insecurities about the body of Christ, I introduced myself to Ron and Betty at an event. They introduced me to Clay and Natalie. Then the forces of gravity knocked down the dominoes, and each week I begin to feel more like there is a genuine family there for me while I struggle through my terrible twenties. (Let's be honest, in your twenties you have existential crises and other scary thoughts that just love to pester your brain).
There are a lot of things about my life I don't know, and there's a lot I'm waiting on. But it's hard to sit and worry about them when you find that you've got a network that's got your back in the present time. It keeps you connected to the present. I'm growing, I'm learning, and I've got an unfamiliar sense of belonging to God's family.
What if I had allowed old lies and insecurity to keep me from grasping this new and delicious happiness? I know people struggle with religion and with what they believe: but after all that has happened in my life the core of me knows that there is a loving God watching out for me. He has always provided for me, even if the provision looks different from what I envision.
What if God intended you to let go of old lies, insecurities, and worries because there actually is something wonderful that he wants to fill those spots with?
We always ask "what if" when something bad happens. But what happens when you ask "what if" to think about all the good that has cascaded through your life?
Tonight I sat in a basement with my fellow Christians and felt comfortable, unforced, and happy to be in that spot while the earth rotated on in its natural journey. I felt natural. For once I belonged to my church and didn't feel like a misfit. For once I felt like everyone around me was just as imperfect, and no one had that rose colored Christian life I tended to project onto most of my church peers in past experience.
My leadership there has already admitted their own past sins and struggles (including stuff like drugs, porn, mental struggles) which honestly has put me at ease. They are open about their struggles, but also how they've changed and how its turned into a testament. What a difference it makes to sit and a room and not feel like the only mess. How easier it is to share and connect.
Sitting on the couch in that room I felt accepted. Each Sunday I walk into my church and actually feel a sense of belonging. I can walk in and shake hands with Mr. Groff or Zach. I can laugh with Clay and Natalie. Sometimes Pastor Jimmy will even stop to talk, and will even notice when some of us can't make it to the services. He takes the time to get to know his church too.
In the past, my church relationships felt forced and I always felt like an outsider, a lonely struggling straggler. But thanks to that one time where I dared to let go of past insecurities about the body of Christ, I introduced myself to Ron and Betty at an event. They introduced me to Clay and Natalie. Then the forces of gravity knocked down the dominoes, and each week I begin to feel more like there is a genuine family there for me while I struggle through my terrible twenties. (Let's be honest, in your twenties you have existential crises and other scary thoughts that just love to pester your brain).
There are a lot of things about my life I don't know, and there's a lot I'm waiting on. But it's hard to sit and worry about them when you find that you've got a network that's got your back in the present time. It keeps you connected to the present. I'm growing, I'm learning, and I've got an unfamiliar sense of belonging to God's family.
What if I had allowed old lies and insecurity to keep me from grasping this new and delicious happiness? I know people struggle with religion and with what they believe: but after all that has happened in my life the core of me knows that there is a loving God watching out for me. He has always provided for me, even if the provision looks different from what I envision.
What if God intended you to let go of old lies, insecurities, and worries because there actually is something wonderful that he wants to fill those spots with?
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